Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Pooping to opera.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
