How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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