i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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