Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
