I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Less talking, more tequila
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
