My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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