I think i peed on brittanys purse
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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