just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
