am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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