just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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