id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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