So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
