Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
