And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
