i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
