just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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