just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm drive I can fine osifer
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize