The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
