I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
