she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
