I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
