You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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