I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
