I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
