So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
