went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
