that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize