Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
