I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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