Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize