oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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