Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
