Soap is not a condiment
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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