just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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