dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
