So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
