Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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