i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you didnt know i had herpes?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
