Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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