those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
