Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
