I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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