im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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