There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bring me that man meat
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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