Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
