Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
