I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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