I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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