Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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