This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
