I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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