you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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