it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
