I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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