If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
