yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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