After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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