ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
