i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
