They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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