soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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